In the dumps

I am not feeling bubbly about life today. I have been feeling alone lately and I am not enjoying that feeling. It seems I am feeling that a lot lately. There is nobody special to me in my life, I am excluding my friends. I often wonder if I am ever going to find that special someone and I am so tired of it all...really. Since I have moved to Washington, I really haven't done much. I have never seen anything outside this city...I go nowhere, I constantly am worried about bills and how I will make rent. I worry, when I go out that I am spending way too much money. Often times I sit home. I feel disconnected with my "friends" and do not get to spend too much time with them. I feel trapped and I can't stand it. I know that something has to give soon. I can't continue living like this... I always thought I was a fun and energetic person who loved life. I hate that I never feel that way anymore. I find it hard to open up to someone who is interested me. I think the worst, they will hurt me and I am on my own...so it is even heightened. I am doing everything right for the most part but I am unhappy...I am ready to make a very big change because this shit sucks. I have never felt so alone.